That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
