You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
