You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
