My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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