Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
