Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
