Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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