I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
