a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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