'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I intend to get homeless drunk
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
