that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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