gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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