We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
