As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
