i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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