THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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