Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Can I color on your dick again?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
