Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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