Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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