Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
