The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
