I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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