Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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