brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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