So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
