Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
