I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
