This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
