sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
