i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
