omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
