I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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