for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
