their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I love having hate sex.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
