I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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