I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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