am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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