Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I am available for nakedness
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
