people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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