I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
