do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
