you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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