You work out of a Hotel?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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