why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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