I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
