Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
