oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
