when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
