i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
