I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
