Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
